Don't give up on yourself
When I first started here, I was actually stuck emotionally and couldn't seem to get much control of my drinking.
Contrary to what others believe, there is a cure for what is commonly called Alcoholism...
Here's what worked for me:
1. Get away from a toxic environment.
This includes people who you associate with, a place of employment where you feel harassed or belittled.
It may even be family.
2. If you can, move....get a fresh start...clean your place..
3. Perform tasks sober...at first, I would reward myself with a drink after completing a project...that probably was why it took a bit longer for recovery.
I started picking days that I permitted myself a few drinks...first, it would be a 3 drink maximum Friday and Saturday nights...it changed to 2 and now, I don't really care if I have a drink. If I am tired, I won't have anything alcoholic. I then consider... maybe tomorrow...
Someone told me that he never drinks alone.
I adopted this policy and found it helpful with gaining control.
Anyway, I am writing on a Saturday afternoon, completely sober AND on my birthday.
My wife of 4 years and I are planning a night out.
I will probably have a couple drinks with dinner...if I feel like it... we are taking a taxi, just in case I decide to have something.
What I am getting at is that there's hope for all of us once we break away from the triggers. We can then focus on our personal lifestyle and like ourselves again.
Your families will notice the changes in you.
Mine noticed that I no longer got drunk at family gatherings/weddings...
Best wishes!!