This is an awesome thread. it sounds like it for the ones, like me that are in between here.
What I learned from my mother was how to find the negative in everything. There was not abuse in my house, I too read some stories here and tears come to my eyes. I was pretty much middle class. My older brother and 1 older sister (9 and 7 years oldler) started doing drugs and drinkin when they were in junior high and I was just a little kid, so there was a lot of fighting when it came to them and my parents.
I was in 4th or 5th grade and I watched my mom have nervous breakdown, seriously, I won't go into detail, but it was not something that a child should ever see. I instantly became the care taker trying to protect her from everything and everyone. As she slowly recovered, she became the victim of everything and everyone. I am not in any way critisizing her, she did the best she could. To quote my friend Dr. Phil, we live what we learn, and she came from avery unhappy home. My grandmother was the most unhappy woman on earth (but that is another story). Then there was my dad, who I too idolized, he could walk on water in my eyes. He was strong and said his piece, but he could hold me and protect me from the world. He died when I was 17 and my world ended. one of the biggest things I learned early in recovery was to give him a break. let his memory live in peace, to take him off the pedastool that I had put him on, he was a man, a dad, my dad, and that is enough.
My mom and I are struggling right now. The longer I am blessed to be in recovery the more I am blessed to grow and learn about myself. I struggle with not finding the negative in everything, it comes easy to her, I don't want it to come easy to me. I don't want to take care of her anymore, and she is haveing a hard time with that. i still want to be close her, but not her caretake, ya know?
Okay, once again Ihave babbled enough. This thread just really struck a nerve with me.
Thanks for listening.