It is always hard for me to read these posts because I was "that guy". Did I deserve for my partner to leave me? Absolutely yes.
Sometimes I still wonder if it is over, because I did so much damage over the years. I think everything will be OK and I try really hard every day. But...I was in a place for that and I wanted MORE THAN ANYTHING to change. I do not hear this in your partner's actions and words.
Would I have stayed with me? No, I would not have. Be really careful. I don't think the change you need or hope for is going to happen. I just don't. Hugs to you.