Originally Posted by
SoulRise 
I've come really far in breaking patterns and I realize it's not in any way easy and I give myself grace that I can't change it overnight.
I'm happy to hear that it doesn't matter what I say before I go no contact. I'm just going to have to sit with the discomfort of someone I love possibly hating me, even when I know I'm doing the right thing.
I'm so glad that you give yourself grace, this kind of stuff takes time and lots of it.
That said, you are actually doing really well. You already know what you have to do, what's right for you and you are doing it. That's huge. That's all you can ask of yourself. Forgiving or giving yourself grace for those same decisions can be tough, but you realize that already.
Yes, nothing you can say will change anything, which is unfortunate, of course, but still nothing you have any control over (his behaviour).