Hi Zilla,
Welcome and I'm glad you found us. The first step is always so hard!
If you are drinking to the point of blacking out you probably are an alcoholic, but that's a decision you have to make for yourself. It isn't normal to not be able to stop drinking until drunk or to blackout. The good news is that you've found a place where you can get lots of support and encouragment to stop drinking. It's hard to do, but so worthwhile!