Zilla

Hello!

Well I don't know where to start...just typing this is making me nervous! I think this post is going to be all over the place.

I have a problem with alcohol.

There I said it!

I can't believe how scary it is just to type that, even though this is anonymous. I guess I have just been in denial for a long time.

I am 27 years old, married, I have a young son (4).

I drink too much, and too often. I feel a lot of shame after drinking. I am afraid that I will become an alcoholic if I don't stop. I have tried to just "cut back" but that rarely works. I have a lot of trouble just having a drink. Once I have the first drink I don't stop drinking until I am drunk. I am starting to black out. I am really starting to scare myself. I hide the amount that I am really drinking from my husband, but I have a feeling he knows.I don't want to be an alcoholic. I want to be a good wife and mother. I mainly just wish I could drink without going overboard every time. But that is probably silly. I think I have to stop drinking altogether, and that is a scary thought. I want to stop, but I am afraid I won't. I am feeling really confused right now.

Thanks for having a place like this. I look forward to getting to know the other members here.