His secret is not yours to keep.
Exactly.
I was going to post that earlier but it's really hard to post thoughtfully in such a difficult situation.
Btttf, YOU need support. I'd tell the family at the very least; your family and close friends. They will likely tell it like it is with you and it will be difficult...but...you need people to know and to be on your side. This isn't something to sweep under a rug.
Can you get in to a therapist or go to Al Anon meetings or talk to a clergy or nun? You need help. He can solve his own danged problem - or not - as will likely be the case.
Let go or be dragged.