Madz,
I think it's awesome that you are trying to re-direct all the love and attention you have paid to your alcoholic ex back to yourself - your hobbies, your health, your friends - whatever brings you joy and makes you feel free and happy in your life.
I'm sorry to say that an alcoholic partner is a burden and a liability, and you deserve so much more. You deserve someone who can fully participate in a relationship with you, not someone who is always cheating on you with alcohol.
It's scary to "cut the cord" completely (go No Contact) but I do highly recommend this - it definitely facilitates the healing process and will help you move on.
SQ