Like many here, my career has taken some interesting turns as the result of my previous substance abuse.
I am a pharmacist who developed an addiction to the prescription drug tramadol. I stole the medication from work (very quietly and politely 🙄
for appx. 4 years before the shame of it broke me.
Coming clean was so humbling and awful. Awful primarily because I hurt my family, but also because I hurt my employer
so much. I had worked for the same, single-owner, small-town, independent pharmacy for 8 years. I loved the practice and my boss and my patients, but I made selfish decisions and betrayed everyone’s confidence.
I hurt my employer by leaving him dumbfounded and without needed help, but also by deceiving him. He worried about me. I think my actions shook him because addiction seemed so out of character for my “good girl, mom of three, always helping” personality. He was very trusting, and I took advantage of that trust to access my substance of choice.
At about 4 months of sobriety I made formal amends to my old boss. It was beautiful and healing. He is a tremendous human. He listened, cried with me, and prayed with me. It helped me move past my shame in a very concrete way.
Fast forward another year+, and I am employed as a letter carrier with USPS. My license to practice pharmacy has been renewed due to my ongoing recovery and compliance with all of my Board’s monitoring requirements, but I have (understandably) struggled to match to a position because of my past struggles. I was formally offered a job after full disclosure of my SUD and recovery, but it was rescinded when my background check showed the
same information I had already disclosed. It was disappointing, but I enjoy my postal walking route so I wasn’t too broken up over the letdown. I just chose to believe it wasn’t the right place for me.
Two days ago, while walking my route, my old boss called me to discuss the policy changes he had made in the pharmacy (random UA’s for employees, no one alone in the pharmacy, double verification of call-in orders, etc…), tell me congratulations on my 18+ months of recovery, and offer me my job back.
It was a complete shock.
I had dinner with him and three old co-workers last night to discuss the details. They understand my recovery (as well as any normie can understand!), and they are working with me to build-in support and safeguards. It was so emotional.
They love me and want me, even though I am not perfect. I don’t have to be perfect to be worthwhile. I get to return to my work home and the people I love.
I’m blown away by the absolute miracle of restoration that recovery (I’m an AA kind of girl) can offer.
I start on the 20th.
I just wanted to share the potential power of amends to heal BIG hurts. This is real.