Hey Spamperd. Garsh is right - you DO know what you have to do. It's hard at first, but it CAN be done. We are all living proof of that. The fact that you reached out is a HUGE step. I know they say "admitting it is half the battle", but I disagree. I admitted it for 3 years before I did anything about it. But now I have, and you can, too. Sober life is SO much better. Try it and you'll see. We're here for you!!