Hi and welcome!
Boy can I relate to all of that. I was exactly the same. Oh how I feared quitting and sobriety, I didn't know what to expect, how to "function" in life should I go there. I'm glad to say the fear was unwarranted and now, my life couldn't be better! Give it a try a do so knowing there are many like you who understand. Your mere presence here just gave the next newcomer some courage to!