(((((((((((JT))))))))))).
(I know you weren't seeking hugs but I was touched by your story and felt the need to give one.
)
I seek approval from each and every person in my life - my parents, my husband, my friends, my coworkers, even you guys. Whenever I accomplish anything the first thing I do is call my dad. I have this insane need for his approval and until he puts his stamp on it, it has no meaning. And if he doesn't, it's hard for me to feel good about it. Sometimes his rejection has motivated me into trying to prove him wrong. But more times than not I just feel incredibly rejected, dismissed, and insignificant.
I go through life trying to be perfect, trying to get others to like me, trying to feel accepted wherever I go. And it seems the harder I try, the worse it is. And it's all my own perception of the world, since I really have no idea what others think. But I do think if I just learn to accept me as is, maybe others will too.
Sometimes I think too much and try too hard....
