I think most people in life are searching. That is part of our journey. I am an atheist/agnostic, but I still consider myself a spiritual being-full of flaws and unpleasant points, but trying to do better each day.
After I was separated from my wife and going through a divorce I had a lot of anger and resentment toward my now ex-wife. I woke up one morning in a lot of pain-spiritual and emotional-and I came to realize that I was only doing myself harm and none to her (I still held a lot of resentment). That was about 8 years ago. I've only recently come to realize that even thinking that "it was doing her no harm" was still a negative emotion that was harming me. I have come to believe that, in the end, most of the harm that comes to us is done by ourselves, or at the very least, allowed by ourselves.
I don't mean that we aren't harmed by other people, but that we have the power to dwell on it or not. We have the power to see that when we are harmed by others, it is most likely because they have weaknesses they cannot control. We can take those feelings of hurt and keep them and let them become our own weaknesses, or we can learn from them and let them go and try to become better ourselves.
The same is true for me for alcohol. I've hurt myself for many years, wasted lots of time an money (and actually made lots of money too, as a bartender), and adversely affected my health. In December, I quit drinking and I feel very good about life. I am letting that past self go and I am working on becoming a better person today. I won't forget the past, but I'm not going to dwell on it. I'm going to use my experiences to make me stronger and to let me search for beauty and truth, and to help others do the same if I can, but I don't want my experiences to become a weight on my shoulders to have to be carried through life like a prison sentence.
Alcohol was a big part of my past, but I am not going to let it dictate my future.