No matter what I did to promote a healthy atmosphere at home, my late AH was going to drink. I know he loved me (well, he did the best he could, considering he was an addict) but life wasn't easy with him.
Shortly after he died, I got a second job, and one of my colleagues was an addict, too. He's a nice man. He means well. But as far as work, he'd disappear for weeks at a time. He moved away, and I got another job. We've remained Facebook friends, and I pray for him and wish him well. Gotta tell you, it's a lot easier to love an addict from afar. It's more peaceful, and much better for my physical and mental health. The physical distance helps to reinforce the concenpt that I can do nothing to help him or change the course of his life. And - I have no right to require/expect him to live the life *I* would like for him.