Ex bf not doing well ?. Keep blaming myself can anyone help
I have posted many times before. I broke up with my boyfriend of eight years in June 2022 and moved out of our house together. I want to say my ex was my best friend we grew up and dated from 16-24 and he was my best friend even though it was toxic we had MANY good times. He is not a bad person by any means and I know he has a disease. At that time things were an absolute ruin I completely lost myself trying to fix him and he didn’t want help and I gave him multiple opportunities to get it my parents even offered to pay our rent so he could go away to rehab and he didn’t want to do it. So he was kind of abusive for those last couple months we lived together and we moved out and we broke up. Over the summer I got my own place I met someone I started dating them for a few months it was just a little fling. We broke up I met up with my ex we talked a little bit and I just didn’t believe what he said when he said he was sober I didn’t believe him because he didn’t go to treatment he didn’t get help. So I continue to live my life for the next seven months and then I met a really really great guy who is amazing and has an amazing family and has treated me like gold. When I first started dating this guy my ex would bang on my door and throw things at my window and harass me and scare me and I think that he was drunk I don’t know but it went on for months where he harassed me and called me a terrible person and it was awful he would then turn around and write me a 10 page letter about how much he loves me and how sorry he is and send me a locket with their names on it and it just broke my heart because I tried to help him for so long and have this life with him and he wouldn’t allow it or didn’t want it or wasn’t ready to get sober . So now I’ve been dating this amazing guy and things have been going great. I then had a mental break down and let my ex manipulate me and I broke up with a good new boyfriend and went and saw my ex and try to make things work once again. It took only a week to realize that he was still so controlling and just not the type of support that I need for the type of person that I am even the way I love him and I still do I know that we aren’t good for each other and I realize that so I had to let it go again and he was angry he freaked out same thing I felt awful I didn’t know it would turn out that way but it did. Thankfully the amazing man that I should’ve never broke up with took me back and things have been going good for about five months. Everything was good I got a photo from someone and my ex went to rehab for three weeks the first time he’s ever actually going away I know three weeks is a long enough but he contacted me a few days after he got out and told me he’s sorry but he doesn’t know who else to talk to he has no one and that he relapsed the first day that he got out I can’t help but to blame myself and feel like it’s my fault and then if I didn’t date someone else after we broke up maybe he would’ve been in a better place but it just happened and this person makes me happy and I’m just stuck feeling like I don’t deserve to be happy . He told me he’s trying so hard and he wants to do better but he can’t seem to do it and I just feel so bad that he is so broken and I am just trying to be happy. He told me that he is happy for me which is crazy because he spent months harassing me and calling me names and calling me a horrible person but I just feel bad that he’s finally starting to realize the damage that he did and what he lost and it’s breaking my heart that maybe one day he could be a normal person and the ideal person that I always wanted him to be but he could never be for me. I guess I’m just having a hard time because he was a part of my life for eight years every single day and now I don’t even know what’s going on with him and he’s so broken and I just want to fix it and I know that I can’t. I care very much about this new guy that I’m with and he makes me very happy but I have obsessive-compulsive disorder and it makes everything so much more difficult and I feel things so much more deeply and all I can imagine is my ex sad and alone and I feel like I don’t deserve to be happy. I know that living a life with an addict or someone in recovery wouldn’t really be the best situation for me because I have multiple anxiety disorders I know that I need someone that’s stable and that treats me the way that I deserve to be treated but I just feel bad that he didn’t know how at the time. We met so young and when I left he lost everything and I just feel so terrible that the life I had planned since I was 16 just fell apart in front of my eyes. I’m just so lost and I feel so awful. I was wondering if anyone else has been tHrU this and did they make the right decision and how they knew that they? I know I still love him and always will and that’s what kills me to because I love my new boyfriend very much but I feel bad still having so much love for my ex as well even tho I know we are better apart. Help? Advice.