Approval seeking is something I catch myself doing all the time. With my parents...my father in particular. I turn into a 6 year old when ever I am around him. I must say tho that I do it less today than I used too. Perhaps it is the recovery I have. Perhaps it is that I am getting older. I actually said something to my dad that made him squirm and I didn't feel guilty after it.
When my parents divorced they both remarried. My stepfather and I had a fight and he effectly banished me from the family. As a result my mother and I were estranged for 20 years. They had 3 children. He died first and today my mother and I have a nice relationship.
My father's remarrage was to a woman/girl 2 years older than me. That one cut my self esteem pretty close to the core. They are no longer married but had 2 girls.
Today I get these reports from both of my parents about their "other" children. It is a place I have a hard time going. I had a brother who was killed in a drunk driving accident at 21 and a sister who had emotional problems and was put in foster care...no contact there. I am alone and I have been alone for a long time. Set aside in favor of my parents moving on with their lives.
This is the short version. It doesn't include the crying and begging my stepfather. It doesn't include all the crying I have done with Ward.
Hugs,
JT