I hit a month!
Today was hard when I got home. The beginning of a long holiday weekend at the beginning of summer. It just felt like a time where in the past I would have rewarded myself with a nice smoke the second I got home from work to bask in the sun and collect my rewards for a long work week, but I kept coming back to how I had such a successful day at work. I completed assignments I would have postponed in the past. I participated and lead many of the discussions in my meetings where in the past my mind was too scrambled to understand half of what was going on. The tasks presented seemed uncomplicated and I enjoyed helping my fellow workers in discovery of how to get them done where in the past I sulked angrily that the world was coming down around me due to someone asking me to do something that was my job. It is really a miraculous 180 and I don’t want to go back to being the dumb one in the meeting when I knew I could be better.
I talk and laugh with my coworkers instead of being a hermit and avoiding conversations. It is really amazing how negatively marijuana was affecting my life.
At home I had the challenge of arriving home in a bad mood as my addictive voice was working on me. My wife confronted my bad mood by saying that I was often in a better mood when I smoked. I tried to explain, but she doesn’t understand that it’s the addiction that is doing this and that in the long run I will be better for staying sober. Funny how a few years ago she detested that I smoked, but relented after my assurances to her that it kept me away from drinking.
I think technically at this point marijuana is out of my system. I still need to work on some things. I know how fast it can all cave in if I slip.
Hope you all weathered the storm today and are experiencing the true reward of sobriety.