@rothmaninc yes, anhedonia was the last of the things to come back for me. For several months towards the end I felt like "ok I'm not living in terror all the time, but I guess I'm just here in this grey space and that's how life is." It changed, though - it got better. I am mostly back to loving and looking forward to things I was into before I went through PAWS and before I started drinking. For me, I knew I was coming out of the forest when I started feeling good after exercising. I'm normally not a gym person, I just walked and did some running and swimming in early recovery to try and get any sort of serotonin or dopamine I could get. Even after working out in the first year and a half (and even a little more for me) I got nothing out of it, but kept at it. When the tides started to turn, I'd come home from the gym and actually feel good - that was when I knew things were finally getting good. You'll get there! Brain healing is a painfully slow process, unfortunately.