Getting drunk and making an ass out of myself was a great way to feel shame. This is just one more example of how alcohol works against the very thing you're trying to escape from. But we drink anyway, even when we know it makes things worse. Why is that? Does it make you forget? Well, yes. We can black out an then not even remember if we were feeling shame during the blackout or not. But I've never heard the worst alcoholic ever say he liked the blackouts.