When I first got sober, I was in rehab which required AA attendance. I attended even though alot of what I was hearing, I could not apply in my life.
I am an atheist and was never able to bridge the gap between AA philosophy and my own belief (or disbelief). I felt pushed to believe in AA and the 12 steps or I would use again and probably die. And yes, I was told that it was the only way to get sober, nothing else would work. I was told this by the counsellers in the facility, AA members, a psychiatrist and doctors in the hospital detox ward. I didn't even realize that there were other options for recovery out there until I came to this site. Today, I work no formal program except the program of not drinking. I'm not always happy and it's not always easy, but I never expected that it would be. It is hard work some days, but I feel rewarded everytime I make the choice not to drink.
While it is correct that if I use again, I most likely will die or have something horrible happen to me, this result is not directly linked to my AA participation. It is linked to my choice to drink or use again. I think that the "ultimatum" style of response to not agreeing with AA is what was the clincher for me and the program.
For me, the program does not fit. But even though it does not work for me, why should I care if others are having no problem with it. When I saw that I was not going to continue with AA, I simply stopped going. It was becoming counter-productive and it was better for me to walk away.
Like with any human organization, there will always be zealots and people that take it to an unhealthy level. It is not my responsibility to change an organization that has worked fine without me for years and will continue to chug along nicely long after I'm gone. Having said that, I do wish that the powers that be in government(Canada), would offer other options for people desperate to get sober. I was desperate enough to risk winging it on my own, other's may not be.