I recall, in both of my marriages, when I have been angry and fed up either because of the drinking, lost jobs or jobs they just walked out on, going out and taking off whenever they felt like it, etc I would say "Geez, I wish I had a choice." But I really always did have a choice and I made the choice to be responsible, to provide for us so that our lives were decent, etc because all the worry and crap associated with being irresponsible (ie bill collectors, no food, lose your home, ect) did not interest me in the least. I could have taken off, quit my job, not cared about my son just as easily but I chose not too because I really and truly didn't want too.