Hi
The best thing to try is to not talk to HIM cold turkey. I see you are asking a lot of questions about what he is thinking, trying to rationalize his behavior, I know firsthand the unknowingly enabling part and the making excuses part. But, this is something that he has to deal with on his own. Sounds like you were extremely supportive for a long time and he seems to have rejected the support. Addicts are not rational. But, if you step back and look at the situation like it isn't happening to you, I have found this helpful. Would I tell my best friend to continue to support a man like that? Would I tell my best friend to keep reaching out to him? Probably not. I know how extremely difficult it is to see someone not acting themselves and to be hurting everyone they supposedly love. I have realized that I have loved my husband for many years but now it's time to love myself and my children more. Hope some of this helps!