Originally Posted by Alpine

Free, I could not have said it better. At first it was fun and enjoyable, then I turned to it out of frustration or anger which only made me in the end far more angry, anxious, etc. I thought it was a coping mechanism which was completely wrong and the exact opposite. It only made things worse my life went into a deep dark hole that was darn hard to climb out of. Thanks again for your great insight and comments.
I am here to be sober no matter what.