SoberNord - I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Big hugs! The circumstances sound truly awful. As far as PAWS, anything super stressful will probably set off some old symptoms for a while, because your nervous system gets all riled up from the shock and the grief. It will pass. As far as getting through the grief sober - it's really tough stuff, but you will be ok. I lost my dad at around two years sober, and I was definitely not ready, but I did not drink over it. I know a few people on the thread had some big losses too, and hopefully they'll chime in here. Grief is awful and it feels so all encompassing and like it will never end, but it does - you don't forget the person, you just heal and become able to think of the person you love without feeling overwhelmingly sad. Going through it sober allows you to properly feel the feelings, and really it's an honor to the one you lost - you can grieve them properly. It doesn't feel like a gift when you're going through it, because sober feelings are a LOT, but you get to be there and be present for your family and your own feelings and properly say goodbye. Lots of love and support from here - you're strong and healthy and sober, you will get through this :-)