I have serious migraines. Without any painkiller, I get suicidal. Yes, they get that bad. I have someone who is not an addict watch my meds and they are kind enough to also watch my behavior. Its kept me in line and in recovery.
I know without anything I wouldn't be walking or talking. I doubt I'd be here to post.
I'm also glad you were upfront with your doctor. I think that is so important. Praying for your recovery from surgery.