I'm glad you came back swedechef.
Well you aren't stupid and you also don't "deserve" to be lied to. These are lies he tells himself to protect his warped world view, not something you need to hear and certainly nothing to believe. He can say the sky is purple, it's not.
One thing I have found helpful in this kind of situation, where a lot of what goes on is just plain BS, is to separate yourself from his made up reality. When he says you are stupid for instance, you can come back with (in your head) well I guess in <insert his name here> world that helps him sleep at night, or in <his name's> world, it's ok to punch holes in the wall.
See how that distances you from the insanity? You acknowledge/see the unacceptable behaviour but it's not part of your functioning reality - it is separate from you. You can't apply normal to a dysfunctional relationship, whether the person is an addict or just disordered in some other way, their thinking is not logical.
There is sobriety (putting down the drink or other drugs) and there is recovery, he is not sober or in recovery, he is in active addiction. Active addicts make horrible parents.
Maybe you are rethinking this relationship now because you want to protect your child from growing up in a household where addiction is present?