Well I was so shocked by the idea I might be in an abusive relationship I killed my account. After some time, everyone's replies, that seemed so hurtful, now look sensible. And you know what I killed my account too because I was worried my bf would somehow see it. And I realized that that was messed up.
I am beginning to believe the relationship is abusive or at anyrate bad. I believe that what I once percieved as a strong act, my bf weaning himself off methadone by himself, was foolhardy and an incomplete cure, and there is no cure for heroin addiction. And the toll it takes is evolving and ongoing.
I am learning a lot that I wish I'd never learned. How could I have been so ignorant for so long? I want to use this forum to help me suss out the situatuon. And vent. I have no one, not a single person, to confide in. I tried being open with bf about his behavior. All I got was deflection. He truly believes I am stupid and I deserve to be lied to--he has said as much!