Originally Posted by Offthemast

Day 21 here. Went to work. Meeting. Studying on step 4. This pancreatitis is kickin my butt. Got just enough energy to get a few places and then when I get home its crash city. Don't take your health for granted. My best friend alcohol turned out to want to kill me. Can you believe I would even consider a drink after 7 months of discomfort, pain, no food, weight loss, nausea, etc...?

Well I'm not going to drink. Have a great night/day class.

Originally Posted by Myley

I am at my very lowest mentally right now. I know that it is the alcohol residue in my body that is making me feel this way, and I know how much better I feel when I have some sober time in me, but yet I keep going back willingly and almost excited to poison myself again each night when hours earlier when I woke and I was hating how I felt and not sleeping well and swearing that I would never ever do it again, only to do it again. Such a crazy self inflicted cycle I am in. Even trying to think in a straight line anymore is hard to do. I love the feeling of being sober, even if it is only for one day or a few days at a time or maybe a week if I am very, very lucky. I am just so freeking addicted to drinking alcohol, I have spent my whole life perfecting this addiction in me and it has its claws in me tight. I really want to quit alcohol for good this time. I want to march forward sober, so please, my higher power, please let this month of March and the evening of March 5th 2023 be the last day that I drank poison and the day that I put the alcohol drink down for good. Let today March 6th and from now on please be alcohol free for me. Amen.