Hi Ella, well you are right about that, there is no excuse.
He can say he doesn't mean this or that when he is drunk, does that help you at all? It still hurts you, it's still disrespectful, it's still unwarranted.
You are in a terrible situation, I know you already know that. Sometimes when we stay in a dysfunctional situation long enough, it can almost seem normal, well at least it's our normal right? There is nothing normal about what you are going through. You don't deserve to be abused.
Space and distance can help you to see all this more clearly, is there any where you can go for even a few weeks, so you can get a better perspective.
Have you asked yourself why you stay at all?