Hi Ella, yes, unfortunately, you have now entered the hostile to the addiction camp (the enemy). Addiction, or the addicted person, will do whatever it takes to maintain that addiction.
I'm sure you did everything you could for him, but, of course, none of it was ever enough and never would be.
To him, to his alcoholic mind, you have "ruined" everything. He doesn't have a problem with his drinking, you do.
Sadly alcohol changes the brain and the person you are speaking to can also numb any feelings with alcohol.
Now is the time to turn back to yourself and looking after yourself (and protecting yourself). It sounds like you have spent years trying to take care of him and all his needs and wants and demands. Now maybe it's time for you? Do you deserve this treatment, did you ever? No. You deserve to be treated with kindness and respect. You aren't ever going to get that from him.
There is a book that is the most recommended here Codependent no more by Melody Beattie. It has a lot of information about boundaries in relationships that you might find helpful (for both romantic and non-romantic relationships).
How are you doing today?