Oh, you will find others who have been through this. Even though you have felt very alone, you are not. I'm glad you found SR. This is a great place for support for you!
I'm sorry to say that your story is not uncommon. Tell an alcoholic "no", and the true colors will shine through--as you have now found out. It's not that you are unworthy or unlovable, it's just that an alcoholic's true love is alcohol. He hasn't been drinking at you, he's just drinking. It isn't personal. You have now interfered with the drinking, so he will do whatever it takes to protect the addiction.
Will he stop? I have no idea. And neither does he. But he is the only one who can stop his own drinking and abusive behavior.
What I do know? You don't deserve to live the way you have been living. No one does. I'm so sorry you are hurting and hope you'll stick around, read the forums, and get the support you need.