I'm glad you have found this site. Your wife is probably right that returning to the very same situation in which she drank abusively for years is not the best idea right out of rehab. The distance is also likely a good thing rather than bad. In order for her to be sober and work a program of recovery, her entire life will change. As her family, your and the children's entire life will change. It is great to realize that this is not "fair" to you and the children, but it is reality and resenting that fact will not change things for the better. If your wife succeeds in recovery there is the chance your family can be re-established for the better for all concerned. It will be entirely different than before, but before she was drinking abusively, and you don't want that, right?