First, I am sending you all the hugs and support that I have from my part of the world.
Second, we cant take away the feelings of shame and embarrassment but those feelings will subside in time. I have done many of things I am not proud of under the influence of alcohol. I felt all sorts of horrible ways about it. I am not those mistakes. I learned from the mistakes, and with sobriety I have not made those types of mistakes again.
Third, You are okay. You will be okay. Sometimes things happen to push us onto the path we are meant to walk. Its not pretty but it is a turning point, and that turning point can change our lives for the better.
I hope your parents are okay. You are doing a wonderful job of caring for them and keeping your head above water. Life is hard and at times it can feel brutal. Do not be defeated. We are here for you. You will get through this time. Sending you light, support, and all the hugs I can give. You can do this.
Merry Christmas!