hey Obladi,
yuck is right!
looks to me there are at least a couple of separate issues here, though probably more than that. the glaring two i see are your sponsor/sponsee relationship and then your feelings about him and what he’s doing.
the latter is your issue, but what the sponsee does is not. she will have to learn from her own experience. as sponsor, your “job” is to guide through stepwork. if she’s asking you to be a lifecoach, that’s outside the scope. if you’re concerned about her choices (and yeah, yikes, lots of reasons to be), then yeah, i’d do as you did and communicate that. which you’ve done. after that, if you feel involved with her choices in such a way that it interferes with the more straightforward sponsorship relationship, then this would be on you to excuse yourself. and if you’re friends, there might be good reason there not to sponsor already.
all that being said….obv they can’t be having any kind of equal relationship, a long-sober older guy and a young person barely able to string a few days together.
i have a young friend who stumbles from disastrous relationship to disastrous relationship. i am not her sponsor, though she asks me occasionally if she can use me as a temporary one. it is very hard to watch someone you care about make self-destructive choices. even if they’re not even our kids🙁
in your situation, i’d find it too weirdly triangular to be this woman’s sponsor. too…..intimately involved in a trio of sorts.
be well, O.