AJ - I drank 30 yrs. In the end, it was all day, every day. I tried a few times to use willpower to just have 'a few' & not get wasted. It never worked once. One drink led to 10 drinks - and a binge - every single time. I was so exhausted from trying to manage it, I finally surrendered to the idea that there was never going to be any control, & I could actually die clinging to the idea that I could be a social drinker. It was never going to be fun, exciting, or even relaxing. It is poison to me, and I can't touch the stuff.
It'll be 15 yrs. next month that I came limping into SR with a ruined life - humiliated and desperate. If drinking put me in that condition, why on Earth would I keep pouring it down my throat? I kept reading & posting here until I was ready to let it go for good. I felt very strange without it in the beginning - there was a brief adjustment period - but gradually the feeling of freedom and hope for the future kicked in. You can do it too.
