Originally Posted by
AJ143143 
I know logically drinking doesn't help ....I get it and I want more than anything to never have a drink again but I also want to stop crying....
Alcohol temporarily numbs emotions (boredom, sadness, pain, anger) then ends up enhancing them as you metabolize the ethanol. That is, unless you keep yourself sufficiently inebriated. Once THAT wears off, all that remains is pain and regret. And probably a desire for more alcohol so that you can stop feeling so craptastic. That's why it's addictive.
Understanding this mechanism helps free me from the desire to partake. Alcohol is simply emotional poison. It is false.
Your pain is true. Cry. Mourn. Be angry. Maybe even feel a little gratitude to be free of this jerky guy.
Those emotions aren't always fun, but they really can't be glossed over or drunk away. Only path is through.
You are smart and strong, and you will get through this. You'll find a path - don't stop looking!