Gadawg, a major aspect of the AA programme is a thorough deep dive into all of our fears, worries and resentments which results in a really good understanding of how our minds work and also that it is our pesky overactive ego which is making us worry and stress about things that aren't real threats. They are simply things our ego perceives as threats - we learn that our egos are trying to protect us from genuine threats but can't tell the difference between those and other stuff. I think knowing what's actually going on when we have these thoughts is really, really helpful. Allows us to let it go as we know that it's simply a malfunction of the brain.
We learn that us alcoholics have a tendency to make everything, absolutely everything about us - even your wife going away with her friends you bring back to you and how it makes YOU feel. We learn that viewing absolutely everything in life through the prism of "self" causes us enormous amounts of pain as it manifests itself in all sorts of undesirable ways: you end up thinking the world is out to screw you over (truth is the world isn't thinking about you, they are trying their best to keep their own heads above water) or you think you have it worse than others or that you are better than them or you are envious or whatever it might be. It also manifests in us always wanting more cos we have this innate fear of losing what we have - so we get greedy, or lustful or dishonest or whatever. Learning to let go of all of that and accept that it's not all about you and everyone is mainly just trying to do their best will provide you with a lot of relief.
It sounds like you have some work to do to get some clarity around your fears and resentments - you will find that if you do this a weight will be lifted. Sorry if the above is full on!!
All of the above being said, I do agree with advbike that it's a pretty normal thing to worry about and not irrational. I guess it's just the extent to which it is eating you up is the bit that is different and needs addressing. I think it is in that respect that the work I mentioned above can be invaluable. Please PM me if you would like help in working on that and other stuff.