Thanks. I'm trying to hang in there. It's a constant up and down now. Last night I was pretty positive. This morning, I told my wife I just want to start drinking again so I can just get it over with because I cannot possibly take months more of this.
One thing that really worries me is my age. I'm 62. I have always felt and looked young for my age, even when I was drinking. But when I quit drinking and after a couple of months, the bad anxiety hit me, it was so debilitating that I thought I was dying, losing my mind and after a month of that, I felt like I aged 20 years all at once. Then it got better after I got medical attention, cleaned up my diet, and started regular exercise. But some days I think I just waited too long, if only I would have quit earlier, and the damage from alcohol is going to kill me anyway because I can't make a full recovery at my age.