Bettertimez

Wondering if anyone can share their experience with me. My mother is 74 years old, been an alcoholic for at least 30 years. The doctors told her she had liver problems probably due to alcohol (she lied about her drinking to them) at least 10 years ago. About 2 years ago her doctor told her she was in the end stages of cirrhosis and would die if she continued to drink. After telling everyone "I can quit on my own, I don't need help", she continued to drink (what a surprise). In the past year she has basically stopped caring for herself, her house and her dogs. My brother and I have had to step in and manage her affiars, I have taken her dogs as they were being neglected and relieving themselves all over her house due to her not letting them outside. She has been going back and forth between home and hospital and skilled nursing homes since October with problems with acites, cellulitis, congestive heart failure just to name a few. She lives alone and craves attention since she has alienated all of her friends and no one cares to see her anymore. My brother and I are the only ones around now.

Anyway, my question is about Encephalopathy. She has had several bouts with this in the last couple of years, where she just seems to stare through you and not at you. Even the simplest of tasks are difficult. Then she seems to come out of it. A few days ago she told me that my father came to visit her. My father died 40 years ago, when I was two. She spoke in a monotone voice - no emotion at all. My father died in a fire and she was telling me that when he came to see her he had ashes on him and went in to detail about some other weird things. She was able to keep up this conversation about what transpired for about 20 minutes. We talked about a few other things and then said good bye. I assumed that this was another episode. She is currently in a nursing home so I know she wasn't drinking. I have to say that the conversation had me pretty upset.

A few days later when I spoke to her she seemed back to normal and a little more clear headed. I didn't bring up the conversation about my dad but she did. She told me that she only said that so that I would be more concerned about her and come and visit her.

So...my question is this: When someone experiences encephalopathy, do they remember what they did or said after they come out of it? Being as sick as she is, I find it hard to believe she could orchistrate such a detailed conversation, but on the other hand she can be very manipulative. Most things I've read about this have said that the person doesn't remember what they did during an episode of encephalopathy. If she does remember, then she really was just "working me".

I am getting so weary of this. I am so close to washing my hands of this whole situation. The emotional roller coaster is literally making me sick. I have had 3 sinus infections, bronchitis and the flu in the past 3 months and I know it's due to the stress of dealing with being her caretaker. I usually never get sick.

The next challenge will be to find her a permanent place to live as she needs at least 12 hours of care per day. We'll be renting out her house in order to pay for her care in a place which I am sure will not be up to her standards.

I really need to work on my detatchment skills I guess.

Sorry so long, any input or info about your experience with this would really help.