klouise...
I don't know what type of chronic pain you deal with, so I don't know how helpful my words will be.
When I got clean in October, 2002, I was wheelchair bound suffering from RSD, FMS, arthritis, and osteoporosis, as well as sporadic migraine headaches. My doctor used to fondly call me a "muscular-skeletal disaster area." Add neurological to that, and you have a pretty complete picture of my issues with chronic pain. My opiate consumption and tolerance reached levels where absolutely
nothing would help the pain...or so I thought. Withdrawal was excruciating, but it didn't last forever. Then, I had to deal with my pain threshold, which was so low from all the narcotics, a breeze on my legs would send me into tears. Literally. I cried everytime I took a shower.
The doctor who treated me in rehab (I needed hospital-based rehab...there was no getting around it in my case) was an addictologist (think that's how it's spelled), and I thank GOD I ended up with him. The things he and the physical therapists suggested initially increased my pain, but I was in a safe environment where I had a lot of support, everyone telling me, "You can do this. We're here for you." They let me whine, cry, bitch, moan as much as I wanted, and little by little, the tide began to turn. My pain tolerance leveled out, then began to increase.
I've learned a bunch of non-chemical methods of pain relief. Meditation is my best friend. I use music, aroma therapy, creative visualization, and lots of prayer. I take hot baths, have an intimate relationship with my heating pad, always have a candle lit, and I treat myself to new, fluffy pillows on a regular basis (body pillows are a godsend!). I accept that I have a different tolerance for activity than some people, and I respect it, taking frequent breaks, don't let myself get too hungry, read lots of engrossing books, and do what I can to be useful to others...meaning, I try to listen to them instead of constantly focusing on me and my issues.
Three months clean, I fell and crushed my lower leg. I was hospitalized for five days on very strong narcotics. It was a nightmare...but the folks in the fellowship surrounded me, kept giving me pep talks, and I made it through. I could not have done it alone without relapse. The doctor released me on a low dose of Percocet, which was given to a non-addict friend to dispense to me, and I tapered off without any withdrawals or rebound dependence. Six months later, by way of a lot of physical therapy and the methods above, I parked my wheelchair and haven't returned to it since.
About a year and a half clean, I had infection in a tooth that was mid-way through a root canal, and I was miserable. My dentist found an anti-inflammatory that helped while the anti-biotics did their job without giving me the normal severe gastric reaction that I usually experience.
I truly believe that if I hadn't found a program (I go to AA, mainly, though both fellowships have played a big part in my recovery), I would not have been able to get or stay clean. I needed the spiritual change brought about by the steps. I needed to realize my own worth as a human being. I needed to see that others with challenges were living sober lives and that I could, too. After all, we all have challenges in life. Mine is pain...and raising four teenagers!
Others have challenges that might not seem as extreme, but I really wouldn't want to trade mine for anyone else's. After all, by learning that I had to slow down if I wanted to function, I've been able to see things that others who become accustomed to hurrying often miss. Gratitude is the key for me.
I don't know if any of this has been helpful in a practical way, but I hope that you can find something in it that you can use.
I'll be praying for you....so many did it for me, and that's proof enough for me that it works.
Peace & Love,
Sugah
P.S. Alycia, you remain in my prayers, girl...hang in there!