LHW- You have a lot going on. Health concerns are the one area where it is generally very hard to "take it easy" but understanding that the addition of anxiety to any situation is never helpful did assist me in managing my own behavior in the past, and my mom has a diagnosed anxiety disorder- she is in full control now with the help of her therapist and her pretty strong reliance on meditation/prayer and her circle of friends. She has worked hard to recover from her addictions, her undesired behaviors and she is my role model. So, there is another side- it is attainable. One day at time seems to be a pretty universal mantra! You're doing great staying sober through so many diversions- excellent work.
Listen to this cool thing- I had a patient this week who is young (mid-sixties) and 7 years sober from alcohol and opiates. He mentioned that to me as an aside- and he said to me that being in a rehab facility and losing so much of his independence (can't live alone but doesn't need much support- kind of assisted living level) and giving up his house, etc has made him "Want to drink for the first time in a long time." Guess who had all the right words to say? That's right- I gave him all the support that I have learned from being here on SR with you guys and at the end of it we both felt pretty darn satisfied. No drinks that day. I so much would like to become an addictions counselor. I know it's tons of school and hours of clinical- and none of what I do now can be counted as any credits. I'm 57 in 2 months. I'm not able to stop working to go to school, going part time would have me broke and doing that until I'm 60 something. Am I making up these roadblocks in order to not try- or are they valid? I am finally enjoying my work- it was the alcohol this WHOLE time that was making me so miserable- but now I feel like I must do MORE MORE MORE- is that me just not allowing myself to be content with what is a pretty good life? Why?
I'm learning a new language. Maybe that will keep me focused for a bit. Oh, and my stained-glass project! Just wait and see!
Wishing you all a great weekend!