Good morning everyone. Strange night last night. 40 year high school reunion, held at a venue less than 10 minutes from my house. Didn't go. Why? Because of who I was just three short months ago. Convinced that I didn't want any part of it. Hadn't connected with any of those people in 40 years. My high school years weren't memorable, so why would I want to go hang out for an evening with a bunch of people I barely knew and reminisce about the good old days that weren't especially good? But you know what? That was just the alcoholic in me talking. The one that isolated himself from everything and everyone, and chose to look at all aspects of my past as negative. To dwell on the bad stuff and not see that there was plenty of good. So I sat last night, watching a Facebook Live feed from the event, so bummed that I didn't go. There were people there that I had fond memories of. It would have been nice to talk to them and find out about their lives, their kids, their grandkids. You know, talk like normal people do. I'm starting to feel like one of those normal people, after so many years of feeling like an outsider.
Just a little bummed last night and this morning. The deadline for signing up was 8/28 and I just let it pass. As last night was getting closer, I had a sneaking suspicion that I was going to regret it. And I did. But what can I do about it now? Nothing. Just know that I'm in a completely different frame of mind now, and take those opportunities to connect with people as they present themselves. Don't assume that I know how things are going to turn out, and just allow myself to step outside of my perceived comfort zone.
Feels good to get that off my chest. On to my New York prep. Talk to everyone later.