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I was delivering training to social workers yesterday on communicating with children - 3 days a year I relish my job, taking what children say to workers and somehow using whatever is to hand to gently move whoever will be moved to see them as people.

Yesterday's session warmed me because in years gone by it was a battle and now it's dealing with frustrations they feel that they can't do what's right - can't do enough, can't change the system.

A penny dropped for me. In all the things kids ask over and over, they never ask just to have everything they want, they ask the system treat them well but they ask individuals to CARE. They ask over and over again for someone they can trust, someone on their side, and they ask those things far more frquently than for rights, belongings or even for things to go well.

But it seems so daunting for anyone to change the culture, to change the system, the odds always seem so small. It's easy to resort to frustration and give up - perhaps not easy, but easy to understand why.

It occured to me that each individual there was far from powerless in fact only individuals change culture. They may argue for a child to be heard but lose - but they argued rather than stood by and let the child be ignored, they changed what they did.

I don't think cultures change because of laws, you can take life for a life and people still committ murder, nor do I think racism laws actually made the biggest difference, I think it was each individual who would no longer tolerate it. I don't think the sums raised after the tsunami were because of governments, it was individual people.

It occured to me as there is no other way of changing social services to care more than by individuals caring more, each of us holds the single most important power and the task is simplified. Care more, act, speak, think remebering how much each child is worth, cease to tolerate them being run down needlessly, defend, reason, and demonstrate a deep caring attitude. Because I believe to the pit of me that is the ONLY way to make kids in care feel cared about. Even if an argument is lost, it still remains the only way to bring about change so the actions of compassion are still worth doing.

You know me - one thing leads to another!! I suddenly felt a huge responsibility, understanding that I (just as ANY individual) am the sole cure for the things I really want to see change. I also felt a sense of peace that all that's required is for me to live that way and then NOTHING will go to waste.

For the first time I feel I REALLY get my own fav quote:
Now back to the challenge I began with, making words, action and thoughts all speak one language - hopefully with more motivation!!

It's brought new feelings in me about boundaries too, the boundaries of what I will tolerate but also the boundaries of what I will tolerate from myself.