Well, if you haven't talked to your doctor about your depression, then first thing tomorrow morning...get on that phone. At least you are recognizing the effect it has on you and you are willing to hang in there with us, for help. I know, I don't know what you really are going through...and I don't, but I know that to use or close yourself off from support is not the way to go. Glad to see you back, with eyes wide open!