Cornishman, I really appreciate what you said about understanding the mechanics of your relapses. In my case, I would become very anxious by about the 4th or 5th sober day, to the point of feeling like I was in my own self-made prison. It felt like such hell that I would have "just one" (ha) to "take the edge off" (double ha). It because a vicious cycle for me, because things would only be worse after the subsequent re-starts. But when I learned about why anxiety can start up in early sobriety, what my particular version of that was and some options for responding, it really helped me, finally, to overcome triggers. I do think learning from relapses can be really valuable.