Hi there
Thanks for your support. Still on the wagon and still suffering from undiagnosed abdominal pain.
Cider, wine, sherry, random bottle of Chinese rice wine… Like most of us I guess, I have drunk virtually anything that has been fermented that was lying around, no matter how foul tasting. They’re all just delivery systems of course. But we are creatures of habit, so we settle on one we find convenient. I probably used to like wine, but not the wine I ended up drinking - that just needs to be strong and cheap and easy to swallow straight from the bottle when needed (especially at 4.00 a.m. to take the edge off things, as you say!). I think as an alcoholic what we really want is a bottle of vodka condensed so it fits into a shot glass and tastes of nothing. There have been times of course when I’ve drunk a bottle of Vodka and some, as the thought of having to get through three or more bottles of wine to get the same buzz was too much trouble. No matter how bad it seems when I think about it, I have still relapsed a fair few times since deciding to stop for good. I think i’m getting slightly better at understanding the mechanics of my relapses though, so this may be it!!
Originally Posted by
kes 
Hi CM,
Fellow Brit here. I thought you'd drink cider, that was my poison, if you can call ***** ***** cider!!LOL Never been near an apple. 7.5 litres per day (7.4%) it was all I could afford
If I drank wine I'd do 4 bottles a day. 2 for breakfast, first one in 10 mins as a "straightener," stops the shakes and then take on the day.
81 days dry today. HTG, I'd rather get hit by a bus that go back there. It was the closest thing to hell on earth CM. Pure, pure misery. Insanity basically. I don't know what's around the corner but I'll draw on everything I have, all my reserves to stop a relapse. I know it's kerplunk if that happens, I ain't got another recovery in me, at 51.
CM, be as strong as a a grizzly bear, and you'll make it buddy. It was a 10 day inpatient detox that saved my life. I wouldn't be posting now if I hadn't gone for it.
Keep on moving on and give time, time. You'll be fine
For the first 50 days it was an hour at a time but that's getting better, now I work through mornings, afternoons and eveings with the view to be able to think a day at a time, maybe around day 100.
Good luck bro, keep posting and let me know how you're doing.