I'm sorry to hear about the losses in your life, it's never easy to be without our parents. I think of that often now, how deeply I miss them and how I'm aging, the years pass so quickly. My life is filled again with family and friends, but in years past when I felt the loneliness of early recovery it helped immensely to lean on other alcoholic/addicts and men for fellowship and support. AA meetings and church were my home.
I can certainly relate to the vehicle and home expenses, having spent thousands getting my Tacoma to stop burning through tires due to suspension and steering issues! And homes, well, they're an ongoing work in progress always requiring one repair or another. Yes, they're luxury items, we are so fortunate to have them, but it's easy to get consumed in the cost to maintain them and how hard we have to work to earn the $$ to have this "stuff" in our life. I try to keep in perspective that these are gifts to me, I've been blessed with the ability to have them and have the skills to earn a decent living. All of this is part of my recovery, the Promises of AA tell me among other things that "fear of people and economic insecurity will leave us" and "we will intuitively know how to handle situations that used to baffle us". I believe these to be true.
I hope you come to a place of peace and comfort in time. I'm currently working several jobs to keep up with my household's bills, and the best part is that I work with a lot of people, the relationships I am constantly forming lift my spirits and always fill me with hope.