So far this summer...
- I've had to spend about $2,500 on various roof repairs.
- $2,600 for a water pump replacement in my car.
- ~$10k engine swap for my truck.
- July's electric bill was $179, the highest electric bill I've ever had in my 900 square-foot home that I've lived in for the past 10+ years. Everything is so high anymore and shows no signs of relenting...
- Family I'm close to seem to hang out all the time without me and rarely call.
- Lost both parents between June and July.
How's your summer going? Ha.
Yes, I'm whining, but can you blame me? I didn't have a relationship worth mentioning with the parents and because of their life decisions, their deaths weren't surprising. I'm angry, sad, regretful, and proud... It's a lot to process despite having had no relationship with either and it's a little painful knowing that nobody in my family really tried to be an ear for me about what all was going on in my heart about it all.
The water pump issue was done and I guess it's okay now. Can't really say anything isn't working right, but I worry about it all the time. As for the truck, well, it's an old 2006 Chevy Colorado with about 147k miles on it. Between the timing chain, oil rings, piston slap, and everything else, I'm just hoping I can last until the 22nd of this month because that's the week that the re-manufactured engine and multiple engine components is being swapped. The good news is that the truck is paid-off and everything else on it is in pretty good shape. There's a little rust here-and-there, but nothing structural or that can't be repaired. Plus, the engine job is going to come with a 3-year / 100k warranty and that applies to most of the brand new modules I'm installing onto it, too. I just have to make it until the 22nd and every time I start the truck up, I feel my heart drop. This morning it acted up when I started it and lit up the check-engine light but after reading the code, I learned that it was the same code that was already on there, which I'm expecting to be fixed from the new engine stuff. So I'm trying not to worry too much about it. And after it finally started, it ran okay.
I'm sorry, everyone. I know I probably have it better than many and I'm not trying to whine but this summer has been hell. I feel so damned alone and despite my best efforts, I never seem to find anyone out there in the world to lean on. Even my grandmother whom I always viewed as being closest to in my life, always seems to find a reason to be the first to hang up the phone whenever I call her and it's usually during those calls that she tells me about how she just hung out with my older sister and her boyfriend / daughter for dinner (whereby I hardly ever get invites). I just hate my life right now, so if you read up to here, bless your heart.
Just had to vent.