trailmix

You know, in thinking about this, if this is on repeat in your head, that's a problem! Breaking that broken record is the key and dandylion's suggestion of distraction is so key. This helps your mind break away from that. Instead of passively letting yourself go over and over something, you keep interrupting it and eventually it stops.

Speaking of records, you know how you get a song stuck in your head sometimes and actually playing the song and listening to it makes it stop repeating (if this does happen to you - it does to me).

Another approach is to not ignore what he said. Sit down and actually write down, say, the 4 worst things he said to you that really make you cringe. Now look at each one. If he said you are ugly, are you? Maybe get up and go look in the mirror, same woman you saw, yesterday? A month ago? check! Him saying it doesn't make it so.

He said you are garbage. What does that even mean? I can see a mean kid in a playground saying that to someone because A. It's actually meaningless and B. They don't have the vocabulary yet, perhaps, to say what they mean (ie: you were mean to me or stole my bat and ball). But garbage, to an adult? Meaningless. Again, this can go on the list of things to review.

A nightmare, well, as I mentioned, you are a nightmare to him, you won't let him drink - oh well, too bad!

Another thing you might want to look at is your ending up there with him. You mentioned you were pretty much a willing participant, even though you really probably knew how this would all turn out? Is this the way you are punishing yourself perhaps.

Anyway, just some thoughts.