I first signed up in 2006 as an alcoholic but lost that account. I then signed up in 2009 when I started getting REALLY serious about sobriety. Looking at my posts from back then is a good reminder of the horror I was going through (honestly, my long absences are even more telling
). I got sober from alcohol 7 years ago but gained a Heroin habit. I am actively fighting that habit now. I take it day by day.
You can't change the past, only the future. You gained knowledge from what you did and by getting clean you have proved you are stronger than most people. Be proud of that fact but never complacent.
You are you, you are special, and you are ok just as you are. Self love is such an important thing to find. I truly believe I've found it. I love who I am. I hate what I have done and sometimes still do - but I am being the best me I can.
Sorry for rambling - I hope you can find a nugget of wisdom in there somewhere.